When Stress Starts to Take Over

Stress is part of life. We all deal with it.

The problem is when it starts to feel like you're always "on." You're busy all day, your mind is still going when you finally get into bed, and even when you have some time to yourself, you don't really feel relaxed.

Over time, that can start to affect your sleep, energy, mood, concentration and appetite.

There are plenty of things we can't control, but there are also ways to help manage stress and give yourself a chance to slow down.

How stress can show up

Stress doesn't always announce itself.

Sometimes it's waking up in the middle of the night and realizing your brain has decided this is the perfect time to run through tomorrow's to-do list.

Or you're exhausted at the end of the day, but somehow your mind is still going.

You might notice:

• Waking during the night with a busy mind - and then having trouble getting back to sleep.

• Feeling tired even after sleeping

• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions - even choosing what's for dinner can feel like one decision too many.

• Feeling more irritable or easily overwhelmed

• Changes in appetite or food cravings

• Feeling restless or unable to settle

• Tension in your muscles, jaw or shoulders

• Feeling like you're always "on" - moving from one responsibility to the next without much of a pause.

Stress and sleep can also become a bit of a vicious cycle. A poor night's sleep can make the next day harder, while feeling stressed can make it harder to settle down at night.

You don't have to change everything

When you're already feeling overwhelmed, the last thing you probably need is another list of things you're supposed to be doing.

Pick a couple that feel realistic and see what happens.

The goal isn't to eliminate stress. That's not possible. It's about finding ways to give your body and mind some time to recover.

Here are a few places to start.

1. Take a few breaths

When things start to feel frantic, take a few slower breaths and give yourself a minute.

One of the places I do this is in the car. Sometimes I'll arrive somewhere, sit for a minute, take a few breaths, and then get out of the car.

It's a small pause, but it helps me slow down before jumping into whatever comes next.

2. Take a real break

A five-minute break can be helpful - if it's actually a break.

Step away from your computer. Put your phone down. Look outside. Go for a walk. Sit somewhere quiet.

Hide in the bathroom for five minutes if you have to.

You don't need to fill every spare minute with something productive.

3. Get outside

Getting outside can be an easy way to change your surroundings and get away from whatever you've been focused on.

Go for a walk, sit outside with your coffee, work in the garden or just get some fresh air.

It doesn't have to be a big outing. Even a few minutes can give you a change of pace.

4. Give yourself a calmer evening

If you're going full speed until the minute you get into bed, it's not surprising if your brain doesn't immediately switch off.

Try giving yourself some space between the end of your day and bedtime.

Read, stretch, have a shower, listen to music or put your phone away for a while.

It doesn't need to become another elaborate routine. Find something that feels good and works with your life.

5. Get the thoughts out of your head

If your mind starts going through your to-do list as soon as your head hits the pillow, try writing things down.

What needs to be done tomorrow? What do you need to remember? What's been bothering you?

Write it down and leave it there for the night.

You don't need to solve everything before bed.

6. Move your body

Movement can be a good way to break up a stressful day.

Go for a walk, stretch, garden, do some yoga, dance around the kitchen or get in a workout you enjoy.

It doesn't have to be intense. Just move in a way that feels good to you.

7. Give your phone a break

When did it become the most pressing thing in the world to return a text the second it comes in?

It didn't.

We've just gotten very used to being constantly available.

I've literally turned the notifications off on my phone and, depending on the day, silenced the ringer too. I don't need to know every time someone emails, texts or posts something.

You can answer the message later. The email will still be there. Not everything needs an immediate response.

Try turning off the notifications you don't need, or decide when you're going to check your messages instead of responding every time your phone tells you to.

You are allowed to be unavailable for a while.

8. Make room for something you enjoy

When life gets busy, the things we enjoy are often the first to disappear.

Read a book. Call a friend. Cook something. Sit outside with a cup of tea. Listen to music. Go for a walk.

Whatever you enjoy, make some room for it.

You don't need to earn your downtime.

9. Look at what's actually stressing you

Sometimes we spend so much energy trying to manage stress that we don't stop to look at what's causing it.

Is your calendar too full? Is work taking up too much space? Are you saying yes to things you don't really have time for?

You may not be able to change everything that's going on, but sometimes creating a little space is possible.

Maybe you say no to something. Maybe you cancel something that doesn't really need to happen. Maybe you ask someone else to help with something you've been carrying on your own.

It doesn't have to be a huge change. Sometimes taking one thing off your plate can create a surprising amount of breathing room.

10. Start with one thing

You don't need to overhaul your life.

Choose one thing that feels manageable and try it for a week.

Maybe it's taking a walk after dinner, putting your phone away before bed, or sitting in the car for a minute before you go inside.

If it helps, keep doing it. If it doesn't, let it go.

Finding your calm

Stress is part of life. There will always be busy seasons, unexpected problems and days when you feel like you're juggling too much.

But you don't have to keep adding more to your plate.

Sometimes managing stress means taking care of yourself. And sometimes it means taking something off the list, saying no, asking for help or deciding that something can wait.

There is a lot of value in creating a little space - in your schedule, in your head and even on your phone.

You don't need to do everything today.